However in the midst of transition I am beginning to wonder if this is totally unique. Perhaps it was only for a season, and given the fruitless job hunt, perhaps it is time to settle and take a job just for the money and for something to do.
Yet, even as I write, something deep within me struggles with the idea of settling. Maybe it is because I was always pushed to achieve by my parents, learning to strive to be the best and reach academic success. Perhaps it is that I cannot bear the thought of ‘giving up’ on a career so recently started.
This has made me re-examine my expectations. Why do I feel that I am entitled to success in my career, entitled to that job, entitled to finding fulfillment? Not everyone works because they love their job and find it rewarding. Those that do are lucky.
So in this time of transition I am torn. Is it time to admit that my dream job is not out there, or at least no-one is going to hire me for it now? Or should I persevere, believe that it is possible to actualize my dreams, if not now, perhaps some time in the future?
I have often been told that I am wildly ambitious, unwilling to settle for anything second best. By virtue of this I have often been disappointed when my expectations haven’t been met. Waiting for the next step is frustrating and often leaves me questioning my own abilities. A natural part of transitioning.
Still not knowing where I will be going next, I am unsure now what my expectations should be. Initially hoping for new adventures overseas, it looks like it will likely be something more mundane, a small step along the way instead of the giant leap I had hoped for.
Part of the journey makes me doubt that a fulfilling career is even possible. Part of it reminds me that it takes a lot of hard work to reach the goal and to achieve the dream.
I am not ready to give up yet, and will cling to those dreams just as many of us do, and dig my heels in deep as I prepare for the long hard slog ahead of me.
Inspired by others in the same boat – read more here